Parenting: Get ready to look at yourself.
by Donald E. Hester
on Apr 29
in Philosophy
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Donald E. Hester
Husband, father, and adventurer. A computer science instructor who dabbles in t
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Parenting is such a hard job. I have to admit that being a parent sounds like a good idea until the weight of the responsibility kicks in. I was thinking the other day about how the apple does not fall far from the tree and that reminded me of far too many examples in my life. I could not help but pray that God would protect my children from my mistakes and shortcomings. I want the best for them and often feel I don't do enough. Of course, some parents do too much and that ends up bad for the children too.
I just hope that my kids can see past my mistakes and not repeat them. Don't get me wrong I love being a Dad and I love my kids dearly. It is for that reason I am concerned about doing the right thing by my kids.
For example my son has an issue with doing his homework. He just does not want to do it. I tried taking things away and even threatened corporal punishment. None of it worked. The funny thing is that is exactly the way I was at his age. I could not give a rip about homework and hated school when I was his age. (Of course now I like homework). I remember my dad had done the same thing to try to get me to do mine. I then thought to myself, the apple does not fall far from the tree. What was I to do?
Change. I had to try to change the cycle. My solution was to give him more homework. A different kind of homework. I had my son read "The Measure of a Man" by Gene Getz. Each chapter in the book is about a value or characteristic about being a man. For example chapter 20 is about self-control, perseverance or discipline. His assignment was to define for each chapter what the characteristic means and then write 5 examples of how he could show that characteristic in his own life. After he finished the report and turned it into me we then discussed each one. Then comes the final. I asked him in his own words to tell me which one or more of the characteristics he was not following by not doing his homework. Then I asked him to tell me how he planned to correct the problem.
I now know he understands why it is a problem and how to correct it. See below to see what he wrote.
The Measure of a Man
Chapter 1
Explain what it means to be a faithful man.
· A faithful man is not an empty talker, and he sets goals for himself.
Give five examples of how you can be a faithful man in your life.
· Don’t empty talk.
· Set Goals.
· Don’t get discouraged.
· Be honest and never lie.
· Do what you say you will.
Chapter 2
Explain what it means to have a good reputation.
· A man with a good reputation is a man who has both friends and enemies who respect him and talk about him positively.
Give five examples of things you can do to have a good reputation.
· Be nicer.
· Follow the golden rule.
· Make other want to listen to me.
· Try to be a man of god.
· Listen to others.
Chapter 3
Explain what it means to have moral purity.
· A man with moral purity is a man who doesn’t give into lust and doesn’t commit adultery.
Give five examples of moral purity.
· Not giving into sexual cravings.
· Meeting ones spouse’s sexual needs.
· Be a man of one woman.
· Think right.
· Communicating.
Chapter 4
Explain what it means to have a balanced life.
· In order to have a balanced life, you must be a man of faith, hope, and love.
Give five examples of having a balanced life.
· Be a man of faith, hope, and love.
· Be temperate.
· Set Biblical priorities.
· Submit to what the Lord is trying to teach you.
· Discern what is temporal and what is eternal.
Chapter 5
Explain what it means to demonstrate wisdom.
· A wise man demonstrates wisdom by being prudent and having a sound judgment.
Give five examples of demonstrating wisdom.
· A wise man is prudent.
· A wise man is humble.
· A wise man has a sound judgment.
· A wise man has gratitude.
· A wise man is prayerful.
Chapter 6
Explain what it means to be respectable.
· A man who is respectable is a man who always does the right thing.
Give five examples of showing respect.
· Lives like a man of God.
· Always does what’s right.
· Does things that make others happy.
· A man who is a leader.
· A man who doesn’t say bad words.
Chapter 7
Explain what it means to be hospitable.
· A man who is hospitable is a man who helps people.
Give five examples of hospitality.
· If someone needs your help you help them.
· Being generous.
· Share with one who has needs.
· If you don’t have much you give.
· Being caring.
Chapter 8
Explain what it means to communicate sensitively.
· Men who communicate sensitively don’t get mad or yell easily and listen no matter what.
Give five examples of how you can communicate sensitively.
· Don’t get so mad.
· Don’t yell.
· Don’t swear.
· Listen more.
· Don’t call people names.
Chapter 9
Explain what it means to have moderation.
· “To have moderation” means that if you drink, don’t drink too much.
Give five examples of how you can be moderate.
· If/when, if I ever, don’t drink too much.
· If/when, if ever, don’t smoke too much.
· Not eating too much meat.
· Don’t be addictive.
· Don’t partake in anything that harms the body.
Chapter 10
Explain what it means to be self-centered.
· A man who is self-centered only cares about himself.
Give five examples of a self-centered person.
· An over indulged person.
· One who doesn’t share.
· An over restricted person.
· A person with too much freedom.
· One who is too bossy.
Chapter 11
Explain what it means to handling anger appropriately.
· When someone handles anger appropriately, when they are angry, they don’t hit and yell, but handle it nicely.
Give five examples of handling anger appropriately.
· Not Yelling.
· Not swearing.
· Talking it over.
· Not hitting.
· Being sensitive.
Chapter 12
Explain what destructive behavior is.
· Destructive behavior is extreme anger, anger that is out of hand.
Give five examples of how you can avoid destructive behavior.
· Do not strike out at others.
· Isolate areas of resentment.
· Follow a biblical approach to personal offenses.
· Seek professional help with physical abuse.
· Do not live in a state of denial.
Chapter 13
Explain what it means to treat others fairly.
· One who expresses great patience and forbearance.
Give five examples of treating others fairly.
· Someone who doesn’t abuse anyone.
· When judging, be fair.
· Don’t be combative, but be gentle.
· Don’t be biased.
· Be gentle, mild, meek, and humble.
Chapter 14
Explain what it means to be a peacemaker.
· A person who makes peace.
Give five examples of how to be a peacemaker.
· Don’t call names.
· Don’t antagonize others.
· Listen to parents.
· Share more often.
· Mind your own business.
· Don’t laugh at others.
Chapter 15
Explain what it means to be generous .
· A generous man gives to the poor and needy.
Give five examples of how to learn generosity.
· Share.
· Don’t be a materialist.
· Put more time into eternal values.
· Give to the poor.
· Put God on your budget.
Chapter 16
Explain what it means to father God's way.
· To father God’s way, you must have a controlled household.
Give five examples of fathering God's way.
· Be patient.
· Don’t exasperate your children.
· Don’t hit your wife.
· Discipline your children.
· Never provoke your children to anger.
Chapter 17
Explain what it means to love God wholeheartedly.
· A man who loves God wholeheartedly isn’t ashamed of it.
Give five examples of loving God wholeheartedly.
· Don’t be a lover of oneself.
· Don’t be a lover of pleasure.
· Don’t be a lover of money.
· Don’t be a hater of good.
· Be a lover of God.
Chapter 18
Explain what it means to be just and upright.
· A man who is just isn’t prejudiced.
Give five examples of how you can be just and upright.
· Don’t be ashamed of the gospel of Christ.
· Always choose what’s right.
· Live a just and righteous life.
· Don’t be prejudiced.
· Live by faith.
Chapter 19
Explain what it means to be devout.
· A devout man gives his all for God.
Give five examples of how you can be devout.
· Commit myself to God.
· Reflect the fruit of the spirit.
· BE A MAN OF GOD.
· Walk by the spirit.
· Do not practice Asceticism or Legalism.
Chapter 20
Explain what it means to be a disciplined man.
· A disciplined man has self-control and perseverance.
Give five examples of how you can show discipline.
· Do what I am told.
· Go through with what I want to do.
· Be more responsible.
· DO MY HOMEWORK.
· Have more self-control.
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